Birthday Jokes

Happy birthday to you! Now, how about a few good birthday jokes to really liven up the party! Seriously, every since folks started singing the monkey song during birthdays folks have been looking for reasons to throw a joke around at just the right time. So, here are a few really good jokes you can recite during the next B-Day party you attend:

Short One-Liner Birthday Jokes

  • You know, when I was a kid my family was so poor – the only thing I ever got on my birthday was a year older.Birthday Cake
  • Do you know what did George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common? They were born on holidays.
  • What goes up and never comes down? Your age!
  • The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
  • Words of wisdom: Growing old is inevitable. Growing up is optional.

Famous Birthday Quotes

  • The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
  • Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Anonymous
  • Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane

Traveling When You’re Old

For my grandmother’s 75th birthday, we had a huge family celebration and even managed to get a photo announcement printed in the local newspaper. “That was a nice picture,” I commented. “It’s my passport picture,” she revealed.

“Really?” I stared in complete amazement at my homebody grandma. “Where did you go?”

“Walgreens,” she replied.