Clean Jokes

There’s nothing more refreshing then reading a few clean jokes, knowing that whether your boss or child is looking over your shoulder it’s safe and nobody will get offended. So, here’s clean joke or two, enjoy!

Everyday By His Side

Sick Death BedDebbie’s husband’s health has been terribly bad, and he’s been slipping in and out of a coma for several weeks. Things looked grim, and the doctor doesn’t think he has much longer left to live. Day in and out, his wife was at his bedside at all times. One day as he slipped back into consciousness, he motioned for her to come closer to him. She pulled her chair right up next to the bed and leaned in close enough to hear what he says.

“You know” he whispered, his eyes filling with tears, “you have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you stuck beside me. When my business went under, there you were. When we lost the house, you were there. When I got shot, you stuck with me. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. “And you know what?”

“What, my dear?” she asked gently, smiling to herself.

“I think you’re bad luck.”

What Would You Like Them To Say?

Funeral CasketThree friends are involved in a horrible car accident, die and all go to heaven. When they arrive at the Pearly Gates of Heaven, St. Peter asks them “When you’re in your casket, and your friends and family are talking about you, what would you like them to say?”

The first man says,”I’d like to hear them say I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man.”

The second man says, “I’d like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher, who made a difference for our children of tomorrow.”

The third man replies, confidently, “I’d like to hear them say… Hey look, he’s moving!