Doctor Jokes

These are some of my favorite jokes of all time, at least when it comes to doctor jokes. You see, there’s something special about the relationship between doctors and their patients. What better way of expressing that relationship than with a few good jokes.

Jill’s Doctor Visit

After school one day, a young girl named Jill goes to her local doctor’s office for a routine checkup. She’s called back to his office and sits down on the patient bed, flipping through a magazine waiting for him to Doctorarrive.

When he walks into the room, he smiles and comes over to her. He pulls her shoes and socks, gently massaging her legs as he reaches up to pull her skirt off. “Do you know what i am doing?” he asks. “Of course.” Jill replies. “Undressing me for my physical.”

He continues to undress her until she is just in her bra and panties. He pulls her bra off and begins to rub and suck on her breasts. “Do you know what i am doing now?” he asks “Of course!” Jill replies “Checking for lumps or signs of breast cancer!”

Then he grabs her by the waist and pulls her towards him. He pulls down his pants and begins to make love with her on the patient bed. She seems to be enjoying it so he asks her again, “Do you know what i am doing now?” Jill replies with a smirk “Getting herpes?”

Expecting A Baby

Three expectant mothers were sitting in the obstetrician’s waiting room. Two of the women where chit-chatting about their pregnancies when one of the women said to the other, “I happen to know that my baby is going to be a boy, because when my baby was conceived, my husband was on top.”

The other woman gleefully replied, “Oh! That must mean that I’m going to have a girl, because when my baby was conceived I was on top.”

The third woman suddenly burst noisily into tears. Concerned, the other two ladies looked to her and asked, “My heavens, what ever is wrong?” The woman cried tearfully, “I’m afraid that I’m having a puppy!”