Fat Jokes

Fat jokes are some of the oldest types that you can ever use. With that being said we wouldn’t be a true joke site without them. I know that most of these have been used a thousand times – but they are still just as funny!

One Liner Fat Jokes

  • Jim is so fat that he can show up on any radar
  • That girl is so fat that he is able to leave footprints in the concrete
  • Gary is so fat that when he stepped on the scale it said, “To be continued…”
  • A guy in Florida was so fat that he was given his own area code
  • You’re so fat that satellites orbit around you
  • You’re so fat that when you play hopscotch the pieces are Alabama, Georgia, and Virginia
  • Karen is so fat that when she looks over at you her double chins look like pancakes
  • George is so fat that when he jumped into the gulf at Panama City the tide came in all the way at Myrtle Beach.
  • What do you call two men talking? A heavy discussion.

Scale Worries

During a scale manufacturing convention there were people all over who wanted to test the different scales out and weight themselves to see if they all would have the same number. There were many though who decided not to participate in this so that no one would know how much they weighed.

There was one very well spoken representative who managed to convince a woman to try out his scale. He promised the he would not look down at the display and see what it said and that she would be the only one to know.

She decided to help him out and stepped onto the scale. After a moment of letting it read her weight a loud, mechanical voice rang out and said, “One hundred and sixty pounds.”