Football Jokes

Baseball may be an American sport – but football is considered to be the most popular. It is the one sport that allows men to come together and scream at the top of their lungs while they watch other men grab each other and knock them off their feet!

Football Nuptials

Two men were discussing how odd it was that their boss was getting married. One man says, “It is crazy that he is 93 years old and she is only 26. Why would she do that?”

The other man says, “From where I am from we call that a football wedding.”

“What’s that?” the first man asks.
The other man says, “She’s just waiting for the old man to kick off!”

First Football Game Ever

A couple had been dating for a few months now when the man decided to take her out to a football. She was excited because she admitted that it would be her first and that she hasn’t so much as watched a game. When it was over they went to get ice cream and he asked her what she thought of it.

“I thought it was great – but I don’t understand why all the men were attacking each other for just 25 cents.”

“I don’t what you mean?” he said.

“Everyone was yelling to Get the quarter back!’”

Football & Poetry

A college football player was in the library looking for a book – but was having a hard time finding it. The librarian noticed him and asked if she could help. “I have to read a play by Shakespeare,” he said.

“Which one do you need?” she said.

“William.”

Number 3

A student was in a desperate search to talk to his high school football coach – but couldn’t find him in his office. He decided that the best way to reach him was at home and proceeded to call his home. The coach’s wife answered and told him that the coach was not yet home.

At this point the student became frantic. “I need to talk to him right away!” he said.

“Calm down and when he gets home he can all you back,” she told him. “What is your number?”

The football player replied, “Three.”