Golf Jokes

These are perhaps my favorite all-time golf jokes. As an avid golfer myself, as you may be also, it’s very easy to understand the underlying meaning behind some of these – as devious as they may appear. Of course, we’d never *want* to strike our wife in the head with a golf ball, but we can appreciate the humor behind it (if she doesn’t die, of course). I’m sure you’ll also appreciate how difficult it is to hit that “perfect” shot.

The Perfect Golf Shot

Golf BallSam stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. He was driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, “What’s taking so long Bill? Hit the darn ball!”

Bill exclaims, “My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot.”
“Forget it, man.” said his playing partner, “You don’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of hitting her from here!”

The Terrible Golf Shot

Sam was teeing off from the back tees. On his downswing, he noticed his wife, Jane, was teeing up her ball at the red tees, directly in his path. Unable to stop his swing, he nailed his tee shot, hit Jane right in the temple, killing her instantly.
A few days later, he recieved a call from the coroner concerning her autopsy.

“Samuel, your wife died from blunt force trauma to the head. You said you hit her in the temple with a golf ball, correct?”

“Yes sir, thats correct” Joe replied.

“Well Sam, I found a large bruise on her left hip too. Do you know anything about that?”

“Umm, yes sir”, Joe replied nervously. “That was my mulligan.”