The Irish are known for their great music, beautiful landscapes, and the amount of liquor they claim to be able to drink. Of course we can’t get over those accents they have. They are great people – but we still have to throw in a few good Irish jokes on their behalf.
May your pint every be full.
May the roof that is over your head always be strong.
And also may you get to heaven half hour before the devil realizes you’re dead.
Car Accident Lovers
A man and a woman were involved in an accident in which they were each driving their own cars. Both of them were not hurt although their cars were completely crushed.
As they are walking away from the wreck the man looks over to see that the woman is very beautiful. The woman walks up to him and says, “It’s amazing that we survived with that damage to our cars. It has to be a sign that we were meant to be together.”
The man didn’t know what to make of it but decided to agree in the hopes for something better to come and replies, “I totally agree.”
The woman continues, “Even though my car is wrecked this wine I had is ok. We should toast to our love!”
“Great,” said the man who decided to go with the moment. She gave him the bottle and in a second he drinks half of it before handing it back to her.
“No thank you,” she says, “I think I will wait for the police to come.”
The Maguire brother were being interviewed for the same job by the personal manager.
“I will give you a written exam with ten questions on it. The one with the most right answers will get the job.”
The boys were seated at a table and began to work on their tests. After they finished the general manager collected the papers and graded them.
“You both received nine out of ten of them right. However, I am going to give the job to Mick.”
“Why?” said Pat.
“You both got the same answer wrong. On his paper he wrote ‘I don’t know this’ and on yours it said ‘Neither do I’.”