Jewish Jokes

You know, racial and religious jokes are perhaps the hardest to write without looking like a complete butthole. Nevertheless, folks look for jokes about Jews so we’re gonna post a few. You know, Adam Sandler’s a Jew they’re all right by me :)

Short Jewish Jokes

Jewish People Love Our Jokes

  • How do Jewish wives get their children ready for supper? They put them in the car.
  • It’s one of life’s mysteries – how a 2Ib box of chocolates can make a Jewish woman gain 5lb
  • And Moses said unto the lord, “We are your chosen people, and you want us to cut the tips off of our WHAT?”
  • “It won’t be long now”, said the rabbi as he circumcised the little boy.

Short Summary Of Every Jewish Holiday

  1. They tried to kill us.
  2. We won.
  3. Let’s eat.

And God Created Israel

On the sixth day, God looked to the Angels and said: “Today I am going to create a land called Israel, and it will be a land of mountains full of snow, forests full trees, sparkling lakes, high cliffs overlooking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life.”

God continued, “I shall make the land rich so that the inhabitants may prosper. I shall call these inhabitants Israeli, and they shall be known to all people on earth.”

“But Lord, asked the Angels, don’t you think you are being too generous to these Israeli’s?” “Not really, God replied, just wait and see the neighbours I’m gonna give them!”