Lawyer Jokes

There are thousands of lawyers in the world walking around with their briefcases and stern faces – but underneath they are simple people. Right? They seem to get a bad rap and we think it might be because of all these lawyer jokes going around. I suppose that is our fault – but we can’t help it! It’s too much fun!

Too Much Billing

One night a lawyer died in his sleep and was taken up to the pearly gates. When he got to the gates he was upset to find himself waiting in line behind thousand of people who were waiting for St. Peter to let them in. After a few moments he was startled to see that St. Peter had gotten up and was walking straight to him. St. Peter shook his hand and took the lawyer to the front of the line and into a chair in front of his desk.

The lawyer told St. Peter, “I like having this attention – but why am I special?”

St. Peter said, “I calculated all of he hours that you billed your clients and you have to be at least 193 years old!”

Living In Hell

Larry Holders had made it is his life to being an evangelist for the past decade and even went on preaching tours. One night he stopped inside on a small town to find a place to get some supplies since it was so cold outside.

He went into a local store to get warm and noticed all of the lawyers from town were gathered together around the stove and talking about business. But not one of them asked Holders to join them.

Holders spoke to them and said that he had been given a vision and saw what Hell looked like. When he was asked by one of the lawyers what he saw there he said, “Almost the same as what I am looking at now. Tons of lawyers together in one of the warmest places.”

Merry Christmas Disclaimer

Please receive with no obligations, implied or expressed, all of the best wishes for a socially responsible, non addicting, environmentally, and gender neutral holiday celebration of the winter holiday that is practiced in a variety of fun traditions that are of the religious persuasion of your choosing (we do ask you to respect for the secular and religious types and decisions of other people and how they choose to celebrate) and more for a financially successful, personally rewarding, and uncomplicated medically of the accepted calendar year (accepting and yet not limited to the Christian calendar but with all respect for other calendars from different cultures).