Religious Jokes

There are many different types of religions in the world that it can be hard to keep them straight. There are so many funny religious jokes out there – but we have chosen some of the best!

The Rabbi, Priest, And Car

A rabbi and a priest had their own church and synagogue that were across the street from each other. Their schedules were the same and because of this they decided to purchase a car that they could share and use to carpool. They found one and parked it in the street between their churches.

After a few minutes the rabbi watched as the priest sprinkled water onto the car. It didn’t need to be washed and he wanted to know what the priest was doing. “Blessing it,” said the priest.

The rabbi said, “Ok.” he then went back inside of his synagogue, after a few minutes he came back with a hack saw and cut off two inches of the tailpipe.

Atheist And The Pastor

One day an atheist went up to a pastor and asked him, “Do you believe that there is eternal life?” Before the pastor has a chance to respond the atheist said, “That is total crap! I believe in science and survival of the fittest. When we die it is over. There is no judgment and no God.” He went on with his tirade saying, “ Eternal life is bogus! When I die it will be the end of it and the end of me!” “Thank heavens for that!” said the pastor.

Nuns With Gas Problems

There were two nuns who were driving alone on a deserted road when they ran out of gas. Not far away was a gas station so they decided to walk to it. There they asked the man to purchase some gas. “I’m sorry,” said the attendant, “but I only have a chamber pot to carry it in.”

The nuns told him that this would be ok and returned to their car. When they were pouring the gas into the tank the man drove by in his car and stopped and said, “Sister, I wish I had your faith!”

Buying Stamps

A woman went to the post office to pick up stamps for her Christmas cards. The clerk asked her, “What denomination would you like?”

“Has it come to this?” asked the woman. “Give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic.