You know, we’ve come to a bit of a crossroads here. Do we offer short jokes in reference to… well jokes that aren’t very long or are we referring to people that aren’t very tall (midgets maybe)? This is a tough question to answer, as I’m not psychotic (or is it psychic)… so how about a mix of both? That should make everyone happy! Well, that’s the idea anyways.
Short Jokes (As In Not Long)
- When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn’t work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
- In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
- Two Muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, “Holy Shit it’s hot in here!” The other muffin says, “Holy Sh*t… A talking muffin!”
- Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? Well he’s all right now.
- Want to hear two short jokes and a long joke? Joke. Joke. Joooooooooooooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkke. (Ok that was dumb, but I couldn’t resist)
Really Short One-Liner Jokes
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese!
- What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.
- What did the Zen Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? “Make me one with everything.”
- What’s the difference between chopped beef and pea soup? Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup!
- What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts! (My favorite)
- Did you hear about the new Divorce Barbie? It comes with all of Ken’s stuff!