Text / SMS Jokes

We’ve all got the friend who sends those little one-liner jokes to your cell phone, you know – the SMS messages that sound like they were written by Confucius or some perv at your high school. Well, in case you want to waste their time right back, here are a few of our favorites that you can text right back.

SMS Jokes

SMS / Text Message Phone

  • In case of fire read this message… I said in case of fire you idiot!
  • Love me or leave me. Hey, where is everybody going?
  • Roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn’t…
  • The more I learn the more I get to know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, so why should I be learning?
  • You are an unwanted child. Your parents paid the medical expenses for your birth with their accident insurance.

Cell Phone Text Message Fowards

  • This is your boss: “You aren’t allowed to read the newspaper during the work hours, but since you are anyways don’t forget the job ads.”
  • This sms can only be read by someone SEXY:…try again…again…maybe you are just not sexy?…one more time…hey don’t force it ugly!
  • Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a sexy mouth, nice smile… but that is enough about me, tell me about yourself?
  • You got STYLE… You got SEX-APPEAL… You got the BRAINS… and you sure as hell got the BODY… WAIT!!! SORRY… wrong number.
  • Your provider adjusted his rates. The rate is determined by the length of your genitalia, the shorter they are, the less you pay. You can telephone for free from now on!

Confucius Say… (my favorites)

  • Baseball is wrong – man with four balls cannot walk.
  • Man who farts in church sits in his own pew!
  • Man who fishes in other man’s well often catches crabs.
  • Man that go to bed with itchy butt wake up with stinky fingers!
  • Those who quote me are fools.